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Thread: Damn I'm awesome

  1. #1
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    Default Damn I'm awesome

    Maelarr, Maelarr, man of his word,
    a student of life and a bit of a nerd!
    One day though, the girls will all come at his call,
    to prove that 'ol Mae is the coolest of all!

    Up in the castle a challenge he met -
    that dastardly Jarvis had made him a bet
    that a duel they would have, and the victor decide
    the man who would take Princess Pheonia as bride!

    Sir Maelarr drew out his long, phallic sword,
    he swung at vile Jarvis, the white disco lord.
    But Jarvis attacked with his records and chains,
    he gave Mae the beatdown, the jockey of pain!

    But Mae perservered, thoughts of Pheonia in mind,
    her hot sexy body; her smile so kind!
    His heart burned with passion, his loins flared with lust
    He'd beatdown foul Jarvis- he can, and he must!

    "Ha-HA!" laughed Lord Jarvis, his hips in gyration,
    "I'll wed Princess Pheonia and rule o'er the nation!"
    With his NUCLEAR PANTS Jarvis lashed out with greed,
    a Freudian motive in words and in deeds.

    With a powerful shout Mae dove back in the fray;
    he wouldn't let Jarvis just have his own way!
    He remembered ninja techniques passed down generations -
    the moves that would help him save princess and nations!

    A powerful kick was delivered with force,
    and Jarvis flew back as though stomped by a horse.
    The disco lord slumped from that kick to the groin,
    while Maelarr laughed "Now it's not just my loins!"

    But what else from Jarvis' armour did pour,
    but a stream of gay porn, shots of dirty man-whores!
    Sir Maelarr cringed and backed slowly away,
    realizing with horror that his foe had been gay!
    (and if he had lost, what a price he would pay!)

    He ran to the princess, embracing her close,
    he felt her boobs press, through her dress and her hose.
    A nosebleed he gained, and a kiss soft and sweet!
    A feeling of manliness surged through his meat.

    They gazed at each other - both Pheonia and Mae,
    and he thought about marriage, and babies and sex.
    She leaned toward his shoulder, then yelled in his ear,
    "Nice try there, Maelarr - just wait a few years!"




    *Maelarr bows and exits stage left*
    {rolleyes}


    Edit: ok ok ok, the origional white disco lord as J-Man, I decided to change it to Xabu, but missed a Jarvis mention. Besides Jarvis fits the meter more.
    Last edited by Maelarr; 02-12-2005 at 12:07 PM.
    Become a minion today! Fall to the cuteness of the kitties!
    So shonen it frikkin' hurts.
    "Matter flows from place to place and momentarily comes together to be you, Some people find that thought disturbing, I find the reality thrilling."
    - Dr Richard Dawkins

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Damn I'm awesome

    Awesome?
    Try silly (in a good way)
    --------------------

    DWARF!!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Damn I'm awesome

    He is everything rolled up into one lovable package. Isn't he?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Damn I'm awesome

    LoL Mae! I liked it!
    Faeryln V'Ruuktaal
    Former Regent Cleric of Innoruuk
    69th Circle of Hate
    (Retired)



  5. #5
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    Default Re: Damn I'm awesome

    Lol, you are crazy!
    75th Season High Priestess

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Damn I'm awesome

    Well, ima keep it back with the origional names. Jarvis! the white disco lord! Mainly because I'm not sure most of you know who Xabu is,
    Become a minion today! Fall to the cuteness of the kitties!
    So shonen it frikkin' hurts.
    "Matter flows from place to place and momentarily comes together to be you, Some people find that thought disturbing, I find the reality thrilling."
    - Dr Richard Dawkins

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Damn I'm awesome

    Haha... I'm speechless! I thought they kept you jarheads too busy to sit down and write this kinda of stuff

    /em sarcastically claps at Maelarr

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Damn I'm awesome

    where did xabu go =(

    btw roflmao Maelarr!
    I almost woke up the baby that was so funny!
    ~Annissa Aplake II~
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    ~Annissa Aplake~
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    Luclin Server - Retired


    Want a peek?

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Damn I'm awesome



    *golf clap* hehe jk was pretty funny maelarr thanks for the laugh

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Damn I'm awesome

    The Highroller (sepulchritude is not a word)

    I sailed on a ship, on a quest to be hip, but my voyage was fraught with uncool!
    So I docked in a port of a nautical sort and I went to relax at the pool.
    Well the pool it was cool, it had chairs and white sands that did shine in the sun like a pearl.
    Then I saw just one man, who, like king of the land, sipped martinis, surrounded by girls!

    It was he, Maelarr, the highroller of legend, a dabbler in lust and in life,
    and as I drew near it became very clear why he never had taken a wife!
    Every woman surrounding him beamed like a goddess, the curves of their bodies enchanted my eye.
    I knew in that moment I wanted to be like him sometime before I did die.

    I approached him with caution, he greeted me warmly, he smiled and offered a drink.
    I sat down beside him, observing the tide with him, not quite sure what I should think.
    Well we sat there together and started to talk; about stories and women and life's many toils,
    I thought him a find; an incredible mind, as the ladies massaged us with cinnamon oil.

    Then we dressed in yukatas and started to walk, setting sights on some evening cuisine.
    That man craved monster tacos and I great burritos, so we hurried on down to the Mexican scene.
    On the way we met girls who, ostensibly hungry, did follow us wearing bikinis and smiles.
    I knew that their hunger was not for burritos, but things they could win with their womanly wiles.

    We dined and talked and we looked in their eyes, and we saw there beneath them a smoldering lust.
    Of course, not a thing I would e'er turn away, I toasted to them in the evening dusk.
    Maelarr brought out the ritz as he ordered the best - monster tacos for everyone; drinks on the house!
    I do not drink, but I made an exception, to strengthen my courage past that of a mouse!

    There was soft music playing and testosterone flowing; a hundred times greater than internet porn.
    I breathed out a wine-scented sigh when I thought of a pleasure-filled night and the following morn.
    Maelarr danced on the floor, busted out moves aplenty, and wowed all the women with style and with flair,
    But in the commotion I lost our fair ladies; they vanished as if they had never been there.

    So Maelarr and I; we were left all alone - a dream-chasing pirate and highrolling stud.
    He said that too many nights ended this way, looking up at the stars when you're down in the mud.
    But he smiled, undaunted, and raised up his glass, and he said it was worth it to have such a friend.
    I toasted with Mae in hearty agreement, and knew that this friendship would never know end.

    So I tell you here now of a gallant and noble man; Maelarr's his name, he's a hero to all.
    If you're a cute girl with a C-cup or better, you'd better believe that he'll come if you call!
    But all kidding aside, I could want for no better; his friendship unwavering, loyal and true.
    Just one like mind in a world full of billions, it's always an honor being buddies with you.


    Become a minion today! Fall to the cuteness of the kitties!
    So shonen it frikkin' hurts.
    "Matter flows from place to place and momentarily comes together to be you, Some people find that thought disturbing, I find the reality thrilling."
    - Dr Richard Dawkins

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Damn I'm awesome

    TO funny Maelarr, hehe you make mornings soooo worth it! Keep it up! loved to see more of your great works! hehe
    Sharlinea Soulfire
    Lvl 63 High Elf Cleric
    Proud Officer of Only One Mind
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  12. #12
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    Default Re: Damn I'm awesome

    by the way.



    http://www.eqcleric.com/forums/showt...p?postid=11599

    I win.



    Maelarr Maelarr He's the man!
    He does things that no-one can!
    Everyone knows he's number one
    BECAUSE HE POWERBOMBED DAR FUHRER INTO THE FRIKKIN SUN!
    Become a minion today! Fall to the cuteness of the kitties!
    So shonen it frikkin' hurts.
    "Matter flows from place to place and momentarily comes together to be you, Some people find that thought disturbing, I find the reality thrilling."
    - Dr Richard Dawkins

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