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Thread: Tradeskills Can Be Hazardous

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    92

    Default Tradeskills Can Be Hazardous

    (This is a story about some knuckleheaded Australian bricklayer, edited by Canard to fit the "Norrathian Atmosphere")

    As some of you may or may not know, Spikeknight has a new tradeskill, though I think he needs to devote more skill points to it as he is still a bit inexperienced. It's the new "Bricklayer Tradeskill". I recently hired him to construct my new Watchtower at my secluded fortress in Felwithe. That way, I could have a new place to observe the goings on of Crushbone, and he could build up experience. Anyway, the following is a re-cap of his little accident.

    Spikeknight: /tell canard "Hey man"

    Canard: /r "Hey Spikeknight, bud. What's up?"

    Spikeknight: /r "Dude I need a rez."

    Canard: /r "Have you filled out EQDF Form 1510?"

    Spikeknight: /r "What the hell is EQDF Form 1510?"

    Canard: /r "Well, due to all the rezzes that I have been having to conduct lately, I decided to keep a detailed record / accident report of the circumstances surrounding each death for a new Lessons Learned section on our new Website."

    Spikeknight: /r "Grrr, you got to be kidding me. OK, you got a form with you?"

    Canard: /r "I think I have one in the PoK bank, where ya at?"

    Spikeknight: /r "I'm naked and bound in POK, so I guess that's where I am, DUH!"

    Canard: /r "OK, OK. Calm down. And where is your corpse?"

    Spikeknight: /r "At your $%&^$**% watchtower in Felwithe, jeesh! And the tower is done by the way, and I didn't get a single $%#&^@ tradeskill pt for it either"

    Canard: /r "LOL, OMW"

    After I read the form, I had to get him to elaborate a bit more on the circumstances surrounding his demise. The following is an excerpt from EQDF Form 1510a (addendum):

    Canard, I am including this EQDF Form 1510a (addendum) in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the original accident report, EQDF Form 1510. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a SK / bricklayer by trade, as you well know.

    On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of your new watchtower. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 stone. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the tower at the top. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

    You will note in Block 11 of the accident report, EQDF Form 1510, that I weigh 135 stone.

    Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the watchtower. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

    Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 stone. I refer you again to my weight.

    As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope, and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs....and my death.

    I hope this answers your inquiry.

    Canard: /gu "By the power of Tunare, I resurrect you, Spikeknight."
    v/r,
    Canard
    Lvl 70 High Elf Cleric

    The Nameless (Innoruuk) Server

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    24

    Default Re: Tradeskills Can Be Hazardous

    lol that was funny

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    156

    Default Re: Tradeskills Can Be Hazardous

    I believe the story itself is from an old Irish drinking song. Nice EQ adaptation though. Funny stuff...
    Qinnyinya
    66 Archon
    The Nameless Server

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Tradeskills Can Be Hazardous

    LOL bro that stoo funny...poor Spike





    Unykron Mistell
    65 Battle Cleric
    ****DAWNFIRE****





  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    55

    Default Re: Tradeskills Can Be Hazardous

    hehe great story, just what I needed for the morning cup o' tea!
    Sharlinea Soulfire
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